


Request Denied

by HecatesKiss



Series: Earthbound Pleasures [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Tarsus IV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 13:10:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2509010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HecatesKiss/pseuds/HecatesKiss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James T. Kirk wanted one simple thing, for one very good reason. This was the Anniversary. That was reason enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Request Denied

**Author's Note:**

> ~*~  
> No part of this story may be reproduced, copied, modified or adapted, without the prior written consent of the author.~ dated 27-08-2014. 
> 
> Guys? I have no problem with download for PERSONAL use, aka a private copy for your e-reader. Zero problema! 
> 
> No, what really makes me see red and want to exterminate something or someone is when my stuff shows up outside of Ao3.

Request Denied

"Cadet Kirk, you have managed to avoid every discussion of the Tarsus IV incident in your three years as a Starfleet Cadet. Request denied. You will be in class tomorrow at 0900. Dismissed, Cadet."

James Tiberius Kirk grit his teeth as he stalked from the commander's office. He had tried. Commander Travis was an asshole and nothing would fix that fact. He drew a deep breath and pointed himself towards medical. He was going to need help to get through tomorrow's nightmare.

* * *  
"Hey, Bones? Remember that chill pill script you keep saying I need filled? Do it."

Leonard McCoy turned slowly to face his friend. "I do believe my hearing just failed. Did _the_ James T. Kirk just ask his _doctor_ for medication? Are you all right, kid?”

“Bones…” He shifted on his feet. The doctor blew out a breath, obviously reading something in his friend’s gaze. The older man nodded. Whatever it was, it wasn’t meant for the open halls.

“Step into my office, Jim.” Bones said, jerking his thumb towards a doorway. Kirk went, easily palming open the door and stepping inside. Bones followed him and the soft hum of an overhead light sounded, exposing the room to be a broom closet. Bones easily overturned a pair of buckets and the cadet took a seat.

“It’s… Travis. Bastard. He’s making me sit the Massacre lecture tomorrow. I -- fuck, Bones! I --” A hand fisted into gold strands and squeezed. He drew in a ragged breath.

“Shit. And you and your thick skull wouldn’t just tell him _why_ you don’t want to sit it. Jesus, Kid. Just tell him.”

“No. Just gimmie enough of a dose that I can get through it without flashback. I won’t puke, I know that much. I can see the holos and read the reports. What I can’t have, what I can’t stand, is some emotionless Vulcan bastard’s mouth on the list of the dead, Bones.” Jim pushed to his feet and reached for one of the cleaning rags, passing it back and forth through his fingers. Bones irritably plucked it from his grasp.

“Jim --”

“Bones… I _can’t_ get out of it. And the Brass scheduled it for _tomorrow_. Tomorrow, Bones.” Jim saw the moment his friend registered the date. A scowl twisted his face.

“Half a hypo should do it. It will keep you calm. Get you through the class. Then, honestly, Jim? Take the rest of the day off. Doctor’s orders.” 

Fingers tracing through his hair, James shook his head. “I don’t listen to you, ever, Bones. If I can hold well enough…” 

“You shouldn’t even _be_ there tomorrow, Jim. God damn it.”

Jim gave a little shrug. Bones grumbled but wrote out the script and transferred it to Jim’s PADD before he then pushed open the boom closet. “Thanks Bones. Drinks next week?”

“Sure Jim. Go on, get outta my sight before you have another brilliant idea flit through your corn fed mind.”

“Just because I’m from Iowa… all right… all right, I’m going!” Jim held up his hands and backed out of the closet with a grin.

Dr. Leonard McCoy watched his friend walk away down the hall. He shook his head. He was a doctor, not a shrink, but even he knew tomorrow was going to be hell on the Kid. The Anniversary always was.

* * *  
The half a hypo of whatever it was that Bones had prescribed did calm his shaking hands that morning. He flicked a glance down at his chrono and raked a hand through his hair. Nerves had him tugging his cadet uniform straight and eyeing himself critically.

He glanced down, there were three messages on his PADD. One was from Kevin. Another was from Tom. He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath before he flicked open the one from Kevin.

“Hey Jimmy. Still here. Still alive. Nother year, right? Well, at least it’s not tree bark for breakfast. Raise a glass later tonight, yeah? Take care, big brother. Riley out.” 

His fingers hovered over the one from Tom. He sighed and nodded before he opened the written message.

_James,_  
Not much has changed here. I doubt it has for you in some ways either. Nother day, nother sunset. We’re still here, eh? Take care of yourself, and don’t drink the damn water. Right, big brother? Catch you later, Jamie! And ha, can’t smack me all the way out on the rim here!  
Leighton. 

“Still here. Right. And yeah, Tommy, not gonna touch the water. We learned that fast enough, didn’t we?” Jim shook his head and flicked at a bit of lint before he picked up his stylus and left his room, shoulders squared, ready to face the day.

Jim slipped into his seat and let his gaze meet the instructor’s. He looked away when the man smirked slightly. His fingers curled into a fist and he flicked his gaze down at the chrono again. He closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. He had deliberately chosen a seat in the far back corner of the room.

Jim twitched when someone sat down next to him, but he opened his eyes and nodded politely to the Vulcan that had taken the seat next to him. He kept his PADD dark as the instructor strode onto the stage and clasped his hands behind his back. Jim frowned at the science blue of the uniform but leaned back, forcing himself to appear relaxed as the man began to speak.

“The Incident on Tarsus IV began due to an exotic fungal infestation of local crops within the colony. Poor handling procedures led to its widespread infection of the much of the food supply for the colony. The Govenor, Kodos, made a drastic decision, based on a theory of eugenics… his decision resulted in the loss of 3,893 lives.”

James flinched as his PADD lit up, but he reached for it, biting his lip. The list of names on the screen were as familiar to him as every other time he’d looked at them. The list of the dead. He scrolled through the list slowly and touched one, Revan, Frances C. 

The bio silently opened for him. He highlighted various words and smiled wistfully as he traced a finger over the brilliant blue eyes. He spent an unknown period of time simply staring at the woman’s face. A noise to his right brought his attention back to his surroundings. He then closed the entry.

He listened with half an ear to the preplanned lecture and his next swipe brought up the bio of Revan, Richard M. He again repeated the gesture and traced his stylus against his jaw, remembering for a brief moment the feel of his Uncle Rick’s fingers tilting his jaw up to take a careful look at the bruises he’d gotten after fighting with another kid. He blinked and focused in again.

“... The list of survivors, mostly children, from the list of “least necessary”, have attributed their survival to another of their number. This child was thirteen at the time of the Incident. He showed bravery, courage, and a willingness to go above and beyond. It is noted that this individual poisoned himself on more than one occasion to self-test food on himself before allowing any other child to have it.”

Jim shuddered, remembering hollow cheeks and the aching hunger and the sweet taste of i’gava fruit three days spoiled and already fermenting. He licked his lips and shook his head slightly. He hadn’t been able to eat that morning. He’d told Bones he wouldn’t puke on seeing the holos. It was true, but only because he couldn’t bring himself to eat.

“Federation vessels reached the children in time. One hundred and seven individuals were taken from the planet’s surface. Those individual’s names can be found with the proper clearances.” The vulcan, who Jim hadn’t payed attention to the introduction of, folded his hands. “The Governor's body was found behind a grain silo. His revolution failed. Tarsus IV is a reminder that the Federation is not as far removed from it’s violence as it was once assumed.” 

Jim shivered, remembering for a moment Kodos’ voice and his speech. _"The revolution is successful. But survival depends on drastic measures. Your continued existence represents a threat to the well-being of society. Your lives mean slow death to the more valued members of the colony. Therefore, I have no alternative but to sentence you to death. Your execution is so ordered, signed Kodos, Governor of Tarsus IV."_

_“Butcher_.” Jim breathed, for a moment tasting blood in his mouth and the sickly honey sweet i’gava juice. Shaking his head slightly to dispel the memory, he breathed slowly through his mouth, as he tried to swallow back the terror that still jerked through his blood. His attention returned to the instructor. 

“As the stardate matches the exact day of the Incident, I would ask you all to stand for a three minutes in memory of the lives lost.” The instructor requested. Jim came to his feet and did not fall into the proper military salute, but instead fell into a posture where his feet were shoulder width apart and his right hand was fisted over his heart, left arm hanging at his side. 

He met his instructor’s startled gaze. The Vulcan was seemingly unruffled. Jim turned his attention to the screen, staring directly ahead, his attention fixed on the scrolling list of names. He mouthed various names as he read them, bits of memory skimming behind his eyes. 

“Class dismissed, Cadet Kirk? A moment of your time?” Commander Travis called. Kirk fell into an ease pose and nodded his acknowledgement. He noticed the Vulcan at his side give him a sharp glance.“Lieutenant Commander Spock. The next lecture is yours, I look forward to it.” 

Jim turned his head to get another look at the vulcan in science blue. Jim reached down and snagged the stylus that had slipped from the Vulcan’s fingers. The other man jerked as their fingers briefly brushed. He nodded politely to the man and even offered a small bow before he picked up his PADD and walked down the stairs. He walked past the Commander and directly into the office that sat off the room. He fell into the attention formation and waited. 

“What the hell was that, Cadet?” 

“Respect, sir.” Jim responded, blue eyes cold, still at attention. 

“Bullshit. Attention is the proper pose. Like you exhibit now.” 

“Permission to speak freely, sir?” 

“At ease. Granted.” 

Jim shifted easily into the standard pose with his hands behind his back, shoulders slightly relaxed. His eyes remained hard. “Commander. I would suggest you look up the Survivor’s Salute. There is a reason it is situated as it is.” 

“And how would you know?” 

“The guards aimed for the left arm. More often than not the left was broken and hurt too much to move. Those that resisted? Used that salute before they were shoved to their knees and their throats slit, Commander. It is a respect. It is a respect I will give my fallen brothers and sisters until the day I fucking die. Sir.” 

Travis blinked. He shook his head. “You…” 

“You will find that there are one hundred and three people that will assume that pose when the _Massacre_ is acknowledged. And, sir? It was a massacre. Men, women, and children were dragged out of their homes, rounded up in the middle of the night, forced into the main square, pushed to their knees and _shot_ at nearly point blank range by men in head to toe black, with the white and green dual sun of the revolutionary guard on their chests. Some children managed to hide. Some of us managed to escape… because parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, and uncles gave us a few moments to run… to hide.” 

“Kirk…” 

“There was resistance to his rule. The Federation didn’t show up for five hellish months. We survived. Men and women died opposing him. After a while, having your throat slit was his favored pastime. If you were caught, either the Butcher himself, or one of his guard would give you a new smile.” 

“Cadet… I…” 

“Sir? Respectfully intended, but go fuck yourself. _This_ is the reason I’ve avoided the Massacre every time it was discussed. I was _there_. I was hunted like a fucking dog through the streets and back alleys. I kept the other kids alive. I heard myself described today as brave and courageous, sir. It wasn’t bravery. It was doing what I had to do, to try and make sure we all saw another sunrise. That’s all.” 

Travis sank behind his desk, blinking. “You…” 

“Me. Sir. The half hypo of whatever Dr. McCoy gave me to get me through that hellish reminder is almost out of my system. I respectfully request that I be allowed to leave, sir.” 

“Cadet, how old…” 

“I was thirteen, sir. I lost my aunt, my uncle, and my cousin Jenny, she was three. Kodos himself shot her. Point blank.” 

“Dismissed.” Travis managed. Jim snapped a salute and spun on his heel. 

* * *  
“Cadet Kirk, might I take a minute of your time?” A voice called. Jim turned and blinked, it was the vulcan science officer… Spock. 

“Sir?” Kirk asked, voice respectful. The other man walked up and slid his left arm behind his back. His right held his PADD. 

“I wished to apologize for my lapse. I did not mean to touch you. As Vulcans are touch telepaths, it was unavoidable that I caught exactly sixteen memories. I will not speak of what I have learned through my contact. However, Cadet, I will agree with _T'kahr_ Kavik. You were brave.” 

“I did what had to be done, sir.” Jim denied. 

“A great Twentieth Century Commander had a saying that you might be familiar with, Cadet. ‘Bravery is the capacity to perform properly even when scared half to death.’ ” 

“Then I guess I was brave. Thank you for your discretion.” Jim managed a polite nod. The Vulcan gave the _ta’al_ and nodded before he turned away. Jim sighed and shook his head. He wanted a drink and a nap. Just not necessarily in that order. 


End file.
